"Hey, I Can Do That!"
Why Not Me?: The Inside Story of the Making And Unmaking of the Franken Presidency (book)
Reviewed by Brian Unger, Washington Post, The (DC), February 21, 1999
Contrary to what most people think, particularly people who don't make a living writing jokes, the year 1998 has been a disaster for smart political humor. Writers who satirize the Beltway theater of the absurd have found themselves intellectually taxed and poorly compensated while trying to be funnier or more ironic than the current jesters on the national stage. Imagine how frustrating it is to one-up Clinton when he does that hilarious thing with the cigar. Who can be funnier than Hustler's Larry Flynt, who came up with the sidesplitting "Desperate times call for desperate measures" line to justify his whimsical brand of journalism? Is there any American whose brain hasn't been murdered by this Lewinsky thing already? Joke writers, put down your pens. Take a hiatus until people in Washington get less funny .
The tragic consequence of the bizarre reality of current politics is a phenomenon in which lazy TV writers and standup comics force us to endure a relentless and embarrassing spew of lame oral-sex and Linda Tripp jokes. An 8-year-old boy gets the same laughs at a birthday party when he sticks his hand under his armpit to make that farting noise. In Why Not Me?, author and political satirist Al Franken pole-vaults over the Clinton-Lewinsky debacle and hits the campaign trail as a candidate for president in an imaginatively funny and fresh satire of presidential ambition that reads like a mock documentary script falling somewhere between D.A. Pennebaker's "The War Room" and MTV's "Road Rules."
Part autobiography, part manifesto, part diary and part eulogy, Franken's Why Not Me? is the story of Al Franken, a character based on Al Franken, who decides to challenge Al Gore for the Democratic nomination. In "Daring to Lead," Franken's quasi-"autobiographical" chapter, he ponders his legacy and reflects on the influences that fuel his presidential quest: anti-Semitism in his fictional birthplace of Christhaven (Franken actually grew up Jewish in the Lutheran slave-state of Minnesota), and the inspiration of JFK. Franken wants to be the first Jewish president despite, in his words, "all the lies that have been used to oppress us ever since we made the mistake of killing Jesus Christ." After surveying the field of candidates, Franken concludes, "Hey, I can do that!"
Author Franken packages candidate Franken very autobiographically: son of a Jewish immigrant, Harvard grad, former comedy writer and performer on "Saturday Night Live," and political author and satirist -- a man unqualified for elected office (though that is arguable these days). Realizing this, Franken gives himself a makeover to add the contemptible traits one needs for public office: self-righteous virtue and disdain for the electorate. In a passage about stumping in New Hampshire, he refers to voters as S.P. (stupid people), feeble-minded mouthbreathers, and goobers. And other than his only bold and courageous campaign issue -- to free Americans from burdensome ATM fees (a la Sen. Alphonse D'Amato in '97) -- we learn that candidate Franken has no platform.
What gives Why Not Me? comedic lift is the voice of Franken's inner candidate: that of a cynical elitist (in private) and insensitive mudslinger (in public) who is basically a likable jerk. And the best part of the book is the candidate's diary entries. After telling a tasteless JFK joke to an after-dinner crowd, Franken writes, "Learned something last night. Kennedy assassination still sore subject among Catholics, at least in Iowa." Watching the film "Glory" inspires candidate Franken to pen, "The country must never be plunged into civil war again!"
On the campaign trail, Franken's travails read like a political "Wayne's World." Traveling in a two-door rental packed with a posse of advisers (who include a perpetually drunk, law-breaking brother who taunts Al Gore at every stump speech; Dan Haggerty, an actor from TV's "Grizzly Adams," who serves as bodyguard and Hollywood liaison; and policy wonk Norm Ornstein, who as Franken's campaign manager is baffled by his candidate's stupidity and recklessness), Franken carries out his strategy: to become a media darling (at one stop he proclaims, "I feel like a rock star. Such as Jewel") and then run as a spoiler against favorite Al Gore while pledging to walk across every state he visits.
Franken expertly mocks a host of the familiar political pledges in our time. Outlining a bold agenda for a Quad Cities crowd, the candidate promises "real change for those who need it and no change for those who don't." And in a highlight of the book, his hair-brained insights draw repeated criticisms from campaign boss Ornstein, who warns Franken to dispense with the needless repetition of America as "the only remaining superpower" (a la Quayle for President 2000). Seeing the inevitable political hara-kiri, Ornstein begs Franken not to keep a diary, particularly in light of the observation he makes while stumping in Iowa: "I just want to kill myself and everyone in the state every time I look out the car window. [Ornstein] laughs but says he hopes I'm not still keeping a diary. I laugh. Also, one other thing I've noticed: Iowans are really fat."
Where the Franken for President campaign ends up in Why Not Me? is a bit over the top. (Hint: A fictional version of Bob Woodward writes the closing chapters.) But, then again, so is the idea of Al Franken running for president. And who cares? Why Not Me? is a sunny vacation from the walking dead in Washington who are determined to lobotomize us all for the sake of the rule of law.
Much has changed in Republicanism since Franken wrote Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot. In the relevant and refreshing Why Not Me?, he does well to ignore most of it and moves us beyond the obvious targets: Limbaugh is slim (Franken's influence, surely), Arianna's ex is gay, Newt is down and out, and Lamar is back in plaid. And did you hear this one? A pro wrestler is now the governor of Minnesota. What's that about!? Al Franken, president? Perhaps it's not so strange after all.