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| Extremely simple recipes that must be preserved, somewhere, for the next generation. During those dark days, when the ram had few quarters to jingle in his pocket, he made do with what was available when it came to food. It was, by today's standards, startling what one could do with just a few resources. Here are some simple, great recipes that will lead to a full belly for virtually nothing. Dedicated to future generations. |
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Pork and Beans Sandwich A 16 oz. can of Van Camp's Pork & Beans and a fresh loaf of Loves White Bread is all you need for this instant lunch. Pile one slice of bread on top of the other. Ladle out a generous quantity of room temperature Pork & Beans diagonally across the top slice. Fold the two slices gingerly around the line of beans to keep the goop from spilling on your expensive shirt. An ice cold can of Hawaiian Sun Fruit Punch would move this simple meal into the realm of nirvana. |
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Black Cow The classic Black Cow is really Coca Cola on ice with a third of a cup of homogenized milk added to it. In the days when homogenized milk was considered good for you, the Cow was a light, creamy concoction that refreshed on any muggy day. Today's watered down 2% milk don't cut it. In 1998 one should replace the milk with Foremost Vanilla Ice Cream. Stay away from Haagen Dazs cause it's just too rich. De-centered (i.e. someone ate the filling) Oreo Cookies is a great accompaniment. |
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Vienna Sausage Sandwich A variation of the P & B sandwich is Libby's Vienna Sausage and Loves Bread. There are only seven little sausages in this can and you must plan this meal carefully. Again pile two slices of bread on top of each other. Lay two unheated sausages diagonally across the bread. Fold and shape the bread so it resembles a hand-made hot dog bun. If you must share the can with a buddy, you might have to lay only one sausage on the bread. Eat it carefully to be sure that you get a little bit of the sausage on each bite. Best eaten with a frosty can of Coca Cola Classic. The acidity helps the bland tasting sausage. |
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Banana On Peanut Butter Toast This is a late night snack. After a thorough search of the cupboards brings up nothing but dust mites and cob webs, its time to pop some bread into the trusty toaster and start slicing the banana. Use Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter. Spread a thick slab on both pieces of toast. Lay down the sliced bananas, lay on the second piece of toast and cut diagonally. Goes great with a super cold can of the Uncola. The citric tang balances the heavy peanut butter and the fizzies help remove the gunk caught on the roof of your mouth. |
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Libby's Corned Beef Sandwich This is a classic hot sandwich. Medium slice a whole onion and saute in a cast iron skillet until transparent. Add the entire contents of a Libby's Corned Beef can into the skillet and cook thoroughly. You are not just heating the beef, you are blackening it. When the corned beef becomes crusty, ladle it on some fresh, Loves White Bread and be in heaven. A remarkable fragrance will permeate your home, travel down the street and slip under the doorways of your neighbors. They will be at your door with rumbling stomachs in no time. Best served with Classic Coke over ice. |
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Spaghetti Sandwich This is controversial, but, hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it. Mesh all the left over sauce and meatballs with the pasta the night before. Do a good job. You want it uniform when it hardens in the frig and should take the shape of a brillo pad. Stick it in the coldest part of the frig. Leave the tupperware lid slightly ajar so it dries out a little. The next day, spread it on some Loves White Bread and, voila,instant amore; a supersonic flight to Italia. Chug down some frosty Martinelli Apple Cider with this beauty. Hits the spot. |
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Cold KFC Cold, day-old KFC Chicken would have perpetuated the Neanderthals, if they had it back in the good old days. While little planning is necessary, just remember the simple rule-of-thumb: Always buy an extra two pieces of KFC chicken for the following day. These go in the frig, you see. And store these left overs with care. Don't use a ziplock. Store it in the box it came in. Leave the lid slightly ajar so it dries out a tad, you see. Nothing more tasty than a lard encrusted drumstick that has been slightly dried out. A frosty Mt. Dew is the beverage of choice here. The extra sweet fizz gets you through the greasy aftertaste. |
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Soda Cracker and Strawberry Jam The cupboard is bare again and the belly is bellowing. No chips around. Not even kakimochi. There is nothing of substance in the frig. This is when planning helps again. Strawberry Jelly, preferably Smuckers, used only for Sunday morning breakfast and that stashed box of Diamond Bakery Soda Crackers (the yellow box) come center stage to the rescue. Slather a generous amount of the jelly on one cracker. Make a sandwich by placing another cracker over the oozing mess and enjoy. There are grim times when you don't have any jam and must go it alone with crackers only. You vow, of course, to never be unprepared again. You need something to drink with this concoction. Soda crackers can suck all the saliva out of your mouth and you could choke to death if you're not careful. An ice cold Hawaiian Sun Guava Juice doubles as both a thirst quencher and an esophagus lubricator. |
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Mayo Sand The ram can't take credit for this one. Visitors to this site simply demanded I add this to the list. They also vehemently demanded that I mention a cold, leftover mash potato sandwich. Yuck! Anyway, a mayo sandwich sounds like downright poverty stuff to me. I mean you gotta be down to your last nickel to think about stuff like this. Well, go with it is what I say. No doubt the perfect beverage with this baby is a lukewarm glass of tap water served in a scratched plastic glass. Almost prison stuff. Hahahahahahaha. |
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Room Temperature Spam - Outta the Can A gun was held to the ram's head on this one. Another group of vociferous readers thought it was nearly criminal that classic Spam wasn't on the list. Now Spam is a staple here, probably because of the war years. But to eat it straight outta the can? Anyway, this is the way it goes: Take the little key, unwind the little strap, pop the lid like you would a car hood and gingerly (cause of the sharp can edge) consume the hunk of meat with a plastic spoon. What a delight. You'll be well on your way to a sudden visit to the ER. Nothing better than a frosty Dr. Pepper with this one. Straight outta the aluminum, no doubt. |
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Sardines Royale This one is a bit more complex. You'll need some kinda fire for this one. Dice one whole Maui Onion, throw (literally) the contents of a can of Del Monte Sardines in Tomato Sauce and the onions into a skillet, add a half cup of water, slosh in enough tabasco to set the mixture on fire, add a couple of table spoons of sugar to help fuel the fire and reduce the whole thing until it almost burns. Ladle over a bowl of hot rice and it's a luxe feast that approaches La Tour D'Argent. |