If you take anything from this site and say it's yours, that's stealing. If you sell it for a dollar, I'll come to your house and you owe me a beer (domestic). If you sell it for a million dollars, I'll come to your house, and the house and the pool are mine. Ten million, give me nine, keep one, call me -- we can be friends.

If you take anything from this site and say it's yours, and as a direct result you finally bed the girl you love -- well, okay, it's not like you're bludgeoning senior citizens to death for their social security check or anything -- but the movie rights are mine.

If you take anything from this site and say it's yours, and because of that the girl you love thinks you're an asshole -- Ha ha! Serves you right.

Change the gender designations in the above two paragraphs to fit your own gender and sexual orientation. No sneaking by on technicalities.

This is an ongoing definition. And it's all mine. Now close this damned window.